the inability to change or achieve something

The countdown begins. 5 days until I start my first day of my last year of school.  I thought I'd never get here, and now that I'm so close, it feels like time just flew by.  I remember sitting in Mrs. Harris's 6th grade classroom wondering what college will be like.  It seemed so mysterious to me then, so confusing.  How do you know which one you will go to?  What kind of classes do you take? What's a major?  I told myself to think back to that moment when I had it figured out. I went to West Chester University.  I took a bunch of bullshit classes, and a major is in one way or another a career path; and although I may know what a major is, I still don't know what I'm doing with it.  So, one important question remains;  What are you going to do when your done with school? It's the age old question that has it's way of working itself into every conversation, and I have no response.  My Aunt Diana told me that I should think of my interests when trying to come up with a career choice.  First thing that came to mind; beer. Ok, so I could drink beer 5 days a week for 8 hours?  Sounds like my livers not going to like me very much.  Maybe sell beer?  Boring, and requires no education.  Make beer?  Hell no. On to the next one. I enjoy writing, and kids, maybe I could write a childrens book? Eh, I'd rather do that as a side job, or a hobby even.  I love music, I could critque that.  Maybe manage a band?  Work for a record company?  Bleh! My mind is seriously about to explode.  It's too frustrating to even think of the possibilities.  The list seems infinite. The only things I know for sure are I do not want to stay here, and I'm still not ready for the real world.  I'm done with this post, I'm going to go scream in a pillow.





                "Back to school, back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool."-Billy Madison