About Me

My photo
Lancaster, PA, United States
I am a 26 year old female, with only hopes of becoming a rock star/movie star. Which basically means if I can't find anything else that I'm passionate about, then I'm going to be living with Mom and Pops the rest of my life(if they would even have me.) Grow up Peter Pan! is a blog about, well, growing up! And the day to day events that are thrusting me towards adulthood.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Happy Birthday, Cory.

It's days like today that help me remember how precious life is.  Today is our dear friend Cory's 22nd birthday.  Unfortunatley for us, he's celebrating in a better place.  In memory of him, and as a gift for Cory's family and the rest of his friends on his special day I put together a list of special messages his loved ones have sent to him to help his spirit live on and comfort others...

Because of you, I laugh more, attempt to put a smile on someone's face no matter what and try to always have a good story to tell. I still can't believe how many stories about you were told. It usually takes a lifetime for someone to have that many stories but not you! You are missed greatly! ♥

Still loved, still greatly missed. xoxo

♥ a full year without your brilliant personality, crazy humor and love....not good. Miss you! Forever in my heart ♥ Always on my Mind ♥

Standing at my kitchen window, looking at Cory's cross and Memory tree - thinking how I hadn't seen a blue bird in awhile and how much I could really use a sign from Cory. Not even minute passed before a blue bird flew across my yard, landed in a tree and back again so that I could truly believe my eyes! I love you and miss you more than ever!

so i had a rough day today.. nothing seemed to go my way .. time passed slow and work seems to be endless.. i think about you every day and its days like today where you help me realize that every breath could be your last and you never know what gods plans are for you and not to waste one second being pissed over noth...ing.. im missing you man but youve made me a better person.. i hung your picture right beside my front door so everytime i leave the house i can get a little corlinger to get me through the day.. i know your looking down as im typing this.. i can feel you man.. miss you

Today was an unusual day, I didn't sleep at all. woke up, made coffee, read a book for an hour, ran a mile and randomly decided that I should take my dog for a walk (because I was in such a good mood). Now this all seems irelevnt, I know. But what ties it all together and lead me to write this was, when I was walking h...im I happen to look up.. And perched ontop of the F&M building is an eagle. So rare to be in the city, let alone at 6:45 in the morning when I had been walking. I couldn't help but to stop and admire how beautiful it was and how lucky I was to see it. I have been thinking about you a lot, and I know that eagle was you. Thank you, miss you always and forever. ♥

 Cory man i still think about the crazy times that we went though 2 summers ago at suzies hole. you'll always be missed my friend.

Cory so many things that we did last year at this time...or that bring up memories ... Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett passing away, Wimbledon - guess you have a great view this year of the longest tennis match in history - but we had fun last year watching Federer and Roddick at the Alley Kat. I can't believe you ...are gone and memories are my lifeline. You truly had a unique outlook on life and I am so blessed to have you in my life. Keep sending me signs, hugs and dreams. I miss you so much; my heart is broken

what's a male blue jay called?

CORLINGER-One who induces humor

Was recently reminded of seeing your cute face in the hallway all the time... you made me laugh and were one of the few people who made going to school interesting. I wonder what you're doing right now and am excited for the day I see you again!

i wont forget the time in tsa regionals at millersville, you asked me for 50 dollars to play this kid in pool that had a cast on his wrist. i believe your exact words were "dude, i cant lose to this kid....he has a broken arm." so of course, you convinced me and i gave the you 50 bucks. then after you made the deal, he... took of his "cast" and cleared the table on you. haha definitely worth the money. miss you man

was just by that place we thought we were gonna get jumped at. Those
houses that were still being constructed back then, that we sat and
waited in with bars and shit. And that fuckin' potato cannon that shot
toward that island was amazing. I miss all of that. Wish ya the best, mate.

i remember the time we went to the brickyard me n you. and i had that white tee on and the idiot waitress came over and said if i didnt take it off and put on the shirt she gave me, we were getting thrown out. we left. and you got the shirt she gave me and just throw it lol. i miss you man, i miss calling u and seeing ...how your doing, i miss basketball in eli's driveway. i hope to see u soon. btw rudy gay has been killing it as of late. talk to you soon.

thinking about the time when you had to push me across 4 lanes of traffic in the Wow Van on our way up to Reading, which was another story in itself. I'm reallly missing you, but I'll be ok.

Belly surfing in OCM during one of our few vacations, eating sand, sun burn, hot peppers on pizza! Well, I guess that is mine forever!

an angel got his wings & we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine ♥

If I could write a song about you, it would be about all the things that you did and do! Then I would have to say that I miss all the things about you! Our lives were cut into two, but it hurts the most knowing what we two could do! I love you, don't know what to do!

 forever in my heart and memories. see you soon big bro ♥ 8

I miss you, Cory, in the snow, sledding, laughing with ice in your hair.

With the smell of your soul and fix the bridge that bowed
from the blows that age delivers.
But I fear collapse as your weight will pass, you know I love you more than you will know...

What the heart gives away is never gone. It is kept in the hearts of others. Cory will live forever in our hearts because he gave his spirit to so many

im planning ahead trying to decide what i want to do for my summer job this year... wish i could work with you again. i think you made the most boring job ever, the funniest one. some of my favorite times are.. when you guys made your fort to sleep in, when we recording our voices saying the ceiling tiles hahaha oh my worddd, doing that creepy walk in the pitch black auditorium sooo creepy! haha, and the would you rather cards that were actually quite disturbing. miss ya cory!

I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason

Bringing something we must learn. And we are led

To those who help us most to grow, if we let them
And we help them in return

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true

But I know I'm who I am today

Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit, as it passes a sun

Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you, I have been changed for good.
(Missing the 8, always)

I am listening to "a walk through hell" right now, and I am convinced that out of alll my songs on my ipod you chose to make that song come one everytime to give me a good laugh, and I always do. I miss you and love you and have so much I wish I could say to you, but your with all of us, and for now that is enough. Peace&♥

i had my first cory dream the other night... sooo funny.. miss ya cor

Was thinking about you last night when I was having a blast with Kyle. Was wondering what your crazy costume idea would be haha

Cory .. there are no words.. only love

Today is absolutely beautiful! I know you are with me in spirit I have been thinking about you so much lately & I will never forget the memories we have shared-you will always be part of my freshman year IUP family! I love & miss you so much Cory enjoy your day I am celebrating with you in spirit & the best part of today is my niece was also born :) RIP Cory & Peace.Love.Happiness xoxo ♥

Thinking about those times in school when the final bell on Thursday would ring and we would run around the halls and scream, "hooo yeaahhh!!! it's friday!!!!! TGIF!! YEEAAH!!" and try to get other people to believe it. it was so funny. I miss you, a lot

"There is a land, where the roses are without thorns, where the flowers are not mixed with brambles. In that land, there is eternal spring, and light without any cloud. The tree of life groweth in the midst thereof; rivers of pleasures are there, and flowers that never fade. Myriads of happy spirits are there, and surround the throne of God with a perpetual hymn. The angels with their golden harps sing praises continually, and the cherubim fly on wings of fire. This country is Heaven..."

been thinking about you a lot lately, although some time has passed, and people may forget what exactly you said, and people may forget what exactly you did, they will never forget how you made them feel... here's to never forgetting

You made me an entirely better person, and the crazy part is, you continue to do so. Miss you more than I can word.

nobody will ever forget you cory. you were.. and you are such an amazing person!

Love and miss you man! You were an inspiration to soo many and even though you are gone you will forvever be in the lives and hearts of everyone you have touched. I know that you got the best pair of wings up there and by all means you deserve them. You were a beautiful fun filled person who will always be remembered by your amazing personality. Take care brotha, keep fullfiling your role as a legend up there.

thinking about the time at an away football game and we were all soaked because it was raining really hard and you said that you felt like you were on voyage of the mimi, and that you would be ben affleck, i would be fergie, and casey would be the beached whale..haha<333

i miss you sooo much, snow days aren't the same without you - i'll never forget our snow day in the winter of '05 at olivia's and then eli's.... i always said that was one of the best days, love love love forever ♥

Cory I was thinking about you the other day. I know you had never met my dad before, but like you, he was a mischevious and fun soul, so I like to think you two will bump into each other up there and stir up some trouble : ) Miss you.

 had this awesome cory moment yesterday ... I am walking through the student center to buy something to eat for breakfast, when out of the corner of my eye, into a student lounge, I see a table full of yummy doughnuts, muffins, fruits, coffee and juices that are what seem to be un-attended! I take a look up and down the hallway, and de...cided to see whats going on inside. As I walk in I freeze becuase I see one of our food service ladies...o wait, she is sleeping on a sofa. I preceeded to have a breakfast I later found out was for Career Fair employees only.
- that one is for you Cory, miss you man!

Cory, We love and miss you so much  We will continue to celebrate your life today and everyday.  Happy Birthday, man.


here we go blue bird.

I carry you with me into the world,
into the smell of rain
& the words that dance between people
& for me, it will always be this way,
walking in the light,
...remembering being alive together
cor (you hated when i called you that) i wish you were here so badly. you were always the one person who always knew the right thing to say to make me laugh....ridiculous how much i miss that. love you....wish i could hug you right now.
Really missing you-- as always. Thanks for still being a part of my life. Love you
This funny story of Cory just popped into my head. Back in video production there were 2 rooms and each had a telephone. And Cory sat under the table in the one room and called Mr. Heim in the classroom and said that Cory needed to go to the office immediately and he bought it. It was so damn funny!!! Love ya Cory
really missing you today. Love you man, wish more than anything in the world you were here. peace

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

puke and rally: part duex

Moving right along...

Day 3:  Zac is being a little bitch.  Kidding.  I think he is at first, but realize after he can't even look at the In-and-Out Burger sitting in front of him, there has to be something wrong.  I feel bad, but I can't help but tell him what he's missing out on.  Double-Double is too legit.

Eli goes to the library, and Mr. Magnificent decides to join him to get some things done as well.  Probably a good idea since he is already missing a week of classes.

I have plans to meet up with my friend Allison and her boyfriend Jeff to go on a hike in Poway. We leave poor, pitiful Zac to sleep away his sickness. I'm getting ready to go and I can tell he's uber bummed. His shoulders are hunched. He tells me to have fun, and slowly drags himself back to Eli's bed.(still think he's being a little dramatic)

This hike is unbelievable, everywhere I look is a sight to see.  It is a 4 mile trail up Iron Mountain, so we do 8 miles all together.  I run/workout practically everyday and thought I was in pretty good shape, but this uphill trek is telling me otherwise.  Let's just say I'm really glad Jeff has a camelbak because I would be dying if it weren't for water.

we made it!
Not only is this hike phenoms, but the company as well.  Jeff and Allison are both adventurous people and knew exactly where to take me that would leave a lasting impression.  I'm also getting caught up on their lives.  It's only the second time I've had the pleasure of talking to Jeff and he's a great guy; perfect for Allison.  We get back down the mountain. Relief. I end the afternoon cruising in her bright red, convertible, mini cooper.  Sounds good, right?

I get back to the apartment complex and hope that someone is there to let me in.  I text Eli, Mr. Magnificent and Zac to tell them I'm almost there.  Zac tells me he's still around, and the door is unlocked; the other 2 rebels are still on SDSU's campus at the library.  I walk in to Eli's place. Zac is laying on the couch "sleeping."  Since I had just talked to him 3 minutes ago I figure he's faking. I stick the arm of my sunglasses in his ear waiting for a smile or for him to slap my hand away.  Nothing.  I go get a shower. I hear my phone beep.  I get out of the shower and check my phone.  It's a text from Zac. "Where are you?"... Are you serious bro?  He didn't hear me open the door that's 5 feet in front of him, feel the sunglasses going in his ear, or catch the sound of the shower running/me singing in the bathroom?  I hope he's fucking with me.

I walk into the living room and Zac is sitting on a different couch than he was before, blankly staring at the television.  I go sit with him, and ask how he's feeling. He can barely talk, but starts telling me how he's been hallucinating really fucked up shit.  One hallucination that especially makes me laugh is...when he is laying down on the couch he thinks he is in some game and can earn points based on which side of his body he is laying on.  This is ridiculous. Then he starts to describe different rules.  Apparently me, Eli and Mr. Magnificent are the only ones who understand them. This is very frustrating for Zac.  I come to the conclusion that the DayQuil that has become a substitute for his meals is making him clinically insane.  He has taken about 4 times the amount suggested, has not eaten a single thing, and is sleeping.  DayQuil is meant to keep you up and this kid can barely keep his eyes open. I don't know what he has, but I worry that he is going to be bed ridden the rest of the trip.  He most definitely looks worse than he did earlier. 

We sit there watching TV.  He grabs my hand and starts hitting himself in the head with it.  I think he's trying to wake up or express that he wants me to beat the sickness out of him, but I get freaked out when I see no expression on his face. I jerk my hand away from him and tell him to get a hold of himself.  He reminds me of the paper he still has to finish that I told him I'd help him out with.  Swell.  I'm tired as shit and he is in no shape to form educated sentences.  I ask him to let me have a 30 minute power nap and then I'll help him. I fall asleep. I'm woken up. No way it has already been a half an hour.  I look at the clock.  Only 23 minutes have passed.  I'm not happy, but see no reason to complain because I am perfectly healthy, and he looks like death.

We finish his paper and he tells me he's going to lay down.  I take him a glass of water and put it by the bed.   I'm starting to get worried. Hours pass.  I go into Eli's room to check on him and it doesn't sound or look like he's breathing.  Sweet, he overdosed on a fever reducer. I reach down and touch his arm.  He is drenched in sweat.  I shake him to make sure he's alright.  He's delirious, but living.  I let him go back to sleep and tell him to let me know if he needs anything.  At this point I feel like he needs to go to a hospital.

I text Eli and ask him when they are getting back because I'm starting to get super concerned.  He tells me they are on their way.  They walk in the door.  I just shake my head.  Eli asks me what's going on.  I tell him a few stories.  He interrupts me laughing and says "Yeah man, did he tell you about the video game where he earns points by laying on a certain side of his body!?" 

We bounce ideas back and forth about what he could have.  Clearly he has a fever, symptom 1. He's hallucinating, symptom 2.  He keeps complaining about sunburn from the beach, and the backs of his calves are burnt as shit, symptom 3. He has no appetite, symptom 4. He has a cough and sore throat, symptoms 5 and 6. He's taken enough medicine to take down a 400 pound gorilla, symptom 7.  The list goes on.  I start googling all these symptoms together and the most random array of diseases and conditions pop up on my iPhone screen.  I download the WebMD app.  I think this will be helpful.  I am wrong.  We give up. Time to  pop in 'The Hangover'. We need to get pumped for our Vegas trip and get our minds off the infected Zac.

Zac comes into the living room.  You can see right through his white shirt.  He looks like he mistakenly took a shower with his clothes on.  He looks like he can't comprehend what or where he is.  He doesn't speak.  I tell him to go get a cold shower.  He comes back out, looking more like a human being than he has in the last few hours.  He tells us he feels better, but his voice sounds pretty bad and he has no appetite.  We share our ideas with him about what it could be. Nothing is concrete so we drop the subject again, and watch the movie.  I fall asleep.  Zac wakes me up because I am spread out across him on the couch.  The last thing I remember seeing is Bradley Cooper butt fucking Mike Tyson's tiger.  Goodnight.

Day 4:  I wake up to Zac shaking me.  I slowly open my eyes.  I see the biggest smile on his face. He's pleased with himself.  He is almost fully recovered.  At least recovered enough to start consuming alcohol again.  I assume that he sweat out whatever he had.  (We still aren't a hundred percent sure what he had, but all signs point to an intake of excessive amounts of alcohol, combined with Mr. Magnificent's germs, intense exposure of sunlight on his ginger skin, and substituting DayQuil for breakfast, lunch and dinner.)

Unfortunately for him it's a shitty day.(if there is such a thing in San Diego)  It's raining and there is no promise that the sun will be showing itself.  Eli is in class, so we get ready to go onto campus to meet him and hit up the SDSU student bookstore to buy some Aztec gear.

We get there and hit up Starbucks.  I need coffee and Zac needs nourishment.  It's been over 24 hours since he last ate.  I get a grande chai...the usual...Mr. Magnificent gets a coffee, black...his usual and Zac orders a feast which included some milkshake/smoothie thing, a sandwich and a huge coffee cake pastry. We finish and Eli meets us inside.  We walk over to the student center and pick out some t-shirts.  Mine is the coolest.  Everyone is jealous. Maybe.

We get back to Eli's place, again.  I'm antsy and hungry.  Eli, Zac and I go grab some lunch at Subway.  Eli orders a pepperoni and meatball sandwich, not toasted...he is allergic.  They know this already.  He has to go back to campus for class, so I make Zac come to Ikea with me.  He's never been there.  Everyone needs to go to Ikea at least once.  We are overwhelmed and almost can't find our way out.  Then, there is light.  The sun peaks through the clouds and I am happy. No more rain today!

Zac and I make plans to go to dinner with Allison and Jeff.  Eli has play practice and Mr. Magnificent has been procrastinating so he still has a lot of work to do.

We have time to kill before then.  Laundry is piled up in Eli's room, and the place is a train wreck. Even more so than before.  I figure since these guys are giving us a place to stay the least I can do is clean their apartment.  I do the Dishes. Take out the Trash. Wash and fold mine and the boys clothing. Dust and disinfect. Zac helps...a little.

I get in the shower and get dressed to go out in Old Town, where we are getting Thai food for dinner.  Jeff and Allison call to let me know they are here to pick us up.  Allison opens up her door to let me in and I see her and Jeff are in sneakers, shorts and matching orange T-shirts.  They just came from a softball game.  Awesome.  I'm in heels and everyone else is slummin' it.  I hate standing out.  I'm usually the under dressed one.  Oh well.  The food is excellent.  The laughs are better. We all tell stories from high school and reminisce about the ridiculous shit we used to do together.  I come dangerously close to peeing my pants.  We finish eating and go next door for some gelato.  Muy Bueno!  Jeff and Allison Drop Zac and I off at the apartment.  Another great night in San Diego has come to an end.  I don't want to leave.  Ever.